Bart Blair

Just Enough Snow

Silas and Ephraim had a day off from school today so we headed to the coulees for a little bit of sliding.

Uncanny Resemblance

Silas came home with a self portrait from school today. Sometimes life reflects art....and vice versa.

A Man Called Bart (by Bartley Sawatsky)

Cleaning up my office this morning and I ran across the lyrics of what could possibly be the best song ever written about me. Actually, it's the only song ever written about me!

Back in December, Grace Community Church held a going-away tribute for my family. Bartley Sawatsky, Grace's lead pastor and my great pal and ministry partner of the last dozen years, blessed us with a singing performance of a song he'd written. Unfortunately, I do not have a video of the moment, but I do have a copy of the lyrics.  Here they are:

A Man Called Bart

First name Bart. Last name Blair
A boatload of heart. A thimble full of hair
Came to Ontario, had the world on its knees
Traded it all for a microphone and nineteen G's

[Chorus]
Bart, not so smart. But you took the part
You took the part 
Bart, not so smart. But you took the part

Bart, he could play, and Bart, he could sing
Tell you the truth, he could do most everything
Bartley had to smile, his choice looked so shrewd
A perfect cover for his own ineptitude

Bart made some friends, like the Wheelers and the Stanleys
He knew he was loved, but felt none the more manly
He started chasing girls in the manliest way-
A 10-day free trial on the Christian Cafe

Met a gal named Lisa and Bart was on the take
She sang like and angel, bit better still - she could bake!
They hardly hear the wedding bells before the ultrasound
Lisa, she was pregnant, but Bart gained 25 pounds!

[Chorus]
Bart, drop that tart. You're headed off the chart
Off the chart
Bart, drop that tart. You're headed off the chart

Bart and Lisa loved their daughter...sweet Sarah-lynn
But Bart's dream of a baseball start wasn't happenin'
Had a son named Silas, and then E-pha-rum
Gotta come form Texas to think of names that dumb :)

But Bart's brains were fine, in fact, way above par-
When he came to Grace, couldn't even play the guitar
He learned it fast and soon amassed some fans that were keen
But the love went up in smoke with the fog machine

Bart's karma at mens' retreats, well it wasn't so good
Started back when he lost all of the men in the woods
But the men of Grace take the goods with the bads
Took advantage of a paintball game to shoot Bart in the [nads]

[Chorus]
Bart,ooh that smarts. But please don't lose heart
Please don't lose heart
Bart,ooh that smarts. But please don't lose heart

So soon Bart decides that he wants to lose some weight
Forever Fit is the answer, and soon he's feeling great
Could have been the poster child, applauded and cheered
But by the time of the photo shoot, he had done disappeared

Just a popsicle stick with a beard...

And now Bart is taking his last at bat
Uprooting the family and moving to Medicine Hat
Mississauga's loss will be Alberta's gain
Tradin' in a Bartley for an Oliver-Shane

[Chorus]
Bart, have a heart, please don't go away
Don't go away
Bart, have a heart, please don't go away
Don't go away 
Bart, have a heart, please don't go away
Don't go away 
Bart, have a heart, please don't go away 

Two Boys in the Hat

HandiMart Mug: 1994-2010 (R.I.P.)

He's been with me since I was in my early 20's.  He's held thousands - literally thousands - maybe tens of thousands - of cups of coffee.  He's been on two national tours with Missoula Children's Theatre.  He's traveled from coast to coast, car to car and cubicle to cubicle.  Today, my dear friend, Mr. HandiMart Travel Mug, met his demise in the dishwasher.

I picked up this mug at the HandiMart in Amana, Iowa one early spring morning in 1994 as the Old Creamery Theatre crew set out to perform The Cowpoke Jamboree at local elementary schools.  He never fit into a single car cupholder and was difficult to hold between the legs while driving, but nevertheless, became my favorite coffee container.

Farewell my friend.  We had quite a ride together.  While other mugs came and went you remained my primary instrument of morning caffeination.  I'll miss you dearly.

Wealth in the Eyes of a 7-Year-Old

Silas was playing the piano for me this evening while I was preparing dinner.  He has yet to begin lessons, but he is developing an ear for putting notes together and making sounds that "sound" musical.  It's fun to watch him discover.

After a few minutes of his all-black-keys song I complimented his playing, telling him it sounded nice.

He responded, "Daddy, what if I get really famous for playing the piano and get paid lots of money; like FIFTY BUCKS?!?!"

Shoot for the stars, Son! :)

The Not-So-Benevolent Beard

The last day I shaved was December 28.  Attended a wedding that day.  Now, my face is getting hairy.

Why?  Many have asked.

Somewhere in the world is a guy named David who is growing his beard to raise funds for charity; one of which is Doctors Without Borders.  In light of the tragedy in Haiti and Doctors Without Borders' involvement in the recovery, I made a donation to the organization in connection with David's Benevolent Beard project.  You can read more about that here: www.thebenevolentbeard.com

Now, I wish I could say that my beard was being grown for such a great cause.  But it's not.  I'm being selfish (and maybe a bit lazy).

I calculated that I spend an average of 7 minutes per shave.  I usually shave 3 times per week.  That's a total of 21 minutes per week, translating to about 18 hours per year in shave time.  18 HOURS!  Is it just me, or does that seem like a ridiculous amount of time trimming facial follicles?!?

And with the cost of razor blades being at an all-time high, I just thought, perhaps, I could buy some time and money back in 2010 by not shaving.  You with me on this?

I have no idea how long I'll go.  Maybe another week or two.  Maybe a month or two.  Maybe just until the summer comes around.  Who knows?  But won't it be interesting to see?  Silas told me I should go for the ZZ Top look.  Maybe, just maybe, I'll try it out.

'Horns No.1

The Longhorns (basketball team) earned their first No. 1 ranking by The Associated Press this week. At 15-0, Texas is off to its best start since the 1932-33 season as the rugged Big 12 schedule begins.

And leave it to the basketball team to give the school a much-needed shot in the arm after the football team lost the BCS championship game to Alabama last week. Asked if Texas is a “basketball school,” senior forward Dexter Pittman referred to the Longhorns’ quarterback: “No. This is Colt McCoy’s school. He’s just letting us borrow it.”         AUSTIN, Texas (AP)

Top 10 of the Last 10

As the decade rolls to a close, here are some of the defining moments of my life which took place over the last 10 years:

10) I turned 40 (2009): Yes, I know, at some point I need to get over it, but it's still a reality I'm not ready to face.

9) I went Mac (2007): And I'll never go back.  'Nuff said.

8) I joined the Meadowvale West Tennis Club (2006): Hadn't played tennis in years.  This was not only good for my physical health, but I've met a lot a great people in the process.

7) Lending all my power tools to Sorin (2005): Some people are made to saw; others to sing.  I'm a singer.  Plain and simple.  After years of botched attempts at household reno projects, I finally came to terms with the fact that I should let other people work on my house.  Sorin is my neighbor who is quite good at these times of things, so I let him hold my tools for me and in exchange he helps me out with occasional chores around my house.  Great neighbour!  Great arrangement!  Maybe when I get to Heaven I'll try again, but certainly not in this life.

6) Nike Sasquatch Sumo² (2008): It's like swinging a stick with a toaster on the end, but nothing has changed my golf game more than adding this club to my bag.

5) I learned to play the guitar (2000): It was the spring of 2000 that I borrowed Aaron's Simon & Patrick Pro Maple Flame.  Learning to play the guitar has probably changed my life experience as an artist more than anything else I've ever done.

4) I resigned from Aerotek (2001): The 6 years I spent with Aerotek were incredible.  I learned so much.  Made some fantastic friends.  Discovered a lot about myself and my talents that would have likely gone undiscovered had I stayed in the performing arts scene my whole life.

3) I joined the staff of Grace Community Church (2002): To those who don't know me, taking a 6-figure pay-cut to leave a promising career with a multi-billion dollar, multi-national company may seem silly.  Bot honestly, to me, NOT taking this opportunity to work in the arts with a group of people who share my passion for God would have been silly.  Yes, it was challenging to make the money part work out.  But not impossible.  Jehovah Jireh.

2) I became a dad: In addition to becoming an instant father (to Sarah) when Elizabeth and I got married, the births of Silas ('02) and Ephraim ('04) were monumental.  I would never go so far as to say that I live for my children, but having children has certainly changed the way I live.

1) I married Elizabeth: After moving to Canada and finding myself "single again" I had may discussions with God about how things were going to play out in my life.  I voiced some pretty strong concerns and desires about finding a person to spend my life with.  God gave me just what I needed.  I have a wonderful wife, best friend and life-mission-partner.  Thank you, God!

Gen-X Heroes That Died in '09: Not Including Michael Jackson

The world lost a number of iconic stars in 2009.  Here are a few and what I will remember most about each:

David Carradine: 1936-2009

"Kwai Chang, what will you do now?"

"Wait.  Wander.  Rest when I can."

I never got to watch Kung Fu as a kid (I was only 6 when the series ended), but I remember this verbal exchange from the commercials.  Truth is, I may not even have the quote correct.  But that's how I remember it!

Ricardo Montalban: 1920-2009

"Smiles.  Smiles, everyone.  Welcome to Fantasy Island."

As a kid, my parents were pretty good about filtering my television viewing.  But for some reason they never stopped us from watching Fantasy Island on Saturday nights - at the Galbraiths on hamburger night!  Of course, we were watching this show right after we'd watched Love Boat.  Hmmmm.

Ricardo will also be carved in my memory as Khan (1982).  Who can forget that?!

Ed McMahon: 1923-2009

It was my generation's American Idol; Star Search was our chance to see the future of American talent!  With categories like "Male Spokesmodel" and "Teen Dancer," it was a thrill!  The voice of Ed bellowing, "Three and a half stars!" is as fresh in my memory as if it happened yesterday.

A few notable celebs who made competitive appearances on Star Search (during the McMahon era):
- Rosie O'Donnell, 1984 (Comedian)
- Sinbad, 1985 (Comedian)
- Sharon Stone, 1984 (Spokesmodel)
- Alanis Morissette, 1988 (Singer)
- Christina Aguilera, 1990 (Singer)
- Britney Spears, 1992 (Singer)

John Hughes: 1950-2009

Although most of us probably had no clue who he was, nearly every teen in America between 1984 and 1989 would have been influenced by his persepctive on the world.

Personally, I would have to say Breakfast Club was probably the most important film he made, but I was a Weird Science kind-guy myself.

Patrick Swayze: 1952-2009

While I'm sure the marjority of Swayze's fans (currently 40-something women) will point to Dirty Dancing and Ghost as his greatest flicks, any red-blooded boy of the 80's would have to give shout-outs to The Outsiders and Red Dawn.  Once we got to college, we jumped to the Point Break bandwagon.  It was all pretty macho stuff. 

What more would one expect from a Texas-bred ballet dancer!?

The rest of the list:

Bea Arthur, Dom Deluise, Farrah Fawcett, Les Paul, Lou Albano, Steve McNair...RIP