If Jesus Were a Dad – Part One
Jesus had a perfect Dad. He also had a step-dad. It’s hard to know exactly what kind of father Joseph would have been for the Son of God, but one has to assume that since God hand-picked him to raise His Son that He probably got more right than wrong.
Most of us, as we parent, will emulate much of what we got from our own parents; whether we intend to or not. I believe the same thing is true when it comes to discipleship. We disciple others, by default, as we were discipled; assuming that we were discipled at all.
Since our goal here is to understand how to best disciple our kids, let’s begin by defining discipleship:
Discipleship is the process of being transformed into the likeness of Jesus.
Discipleship is not learning the Bible.
Learning the Bible is part of the process of that aforementioned transformation.
The transformation of a sinful, unrighteous, worm-of-a-human-being into the likeness of Jesus is a spiritual process. It is not a process that we control. We may contribute to the conditions, but there is a finite limit to how much we can do (1 Cor. 3:6).
That being said, I hope I have taken some of the weight from your shoulders, parents. Try as you might, you cannot conform the spirit of your child any more than you can change the colour of your hair. Sure, you can dye your hair, shave it off, or even put a wig on it, but if you are a redhead, you will always be a redhead – until God makes it go gray.
But though I cannot change the colour of my hair (once upon a time, I had lots), I can tend it. I can keep it clean, manage the style and take care of it. And this, or course, is about all we can do with our kids. We can provide an environment of learning and healthy growth. We can introduce them to Jesus and give them instruction on what it means to follow Him (and how to do so) but the Holy Spirit is ultimately the One who transforms the heart. I hope I am overstating the obvious when I say that discipleship is purely a heart issue.
As we develop this environment of development, we should focus on our kids’ BVB’s. No, not their BVD’s, although ensuring that they wear clean one’s is a good practice. BVB’s. Beliefs. Values. Behaviours.
Beliefs + Values = Behaviours
What they believe and what they value will determine how they behave; just like is does for you!
I am a firm believer that sometimes the chicken comes before the egg. Sometimes, as followers of Jesus, we need to act on things out of obedience first and then the heart follows. I know that’s true with non-spiritual discipline issues. When I want my kids to form good hygiene habits, I require that they simply OBEY. Eventually, those hygiene habits will become so natural that my kids won’t be able to disregard them.
Right now, for my 7 and 9 year old boys, brushing their teeth is a hassle. But they must obey. Eventually, they will understand why it’s good for them (both their health and their social life), it will become a value and they will eventually do it on their own without having to be told.
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I think the same thing is true with much of our spiritual growth. Sometimes we just need to do what God wants us to do and eventually our heart will change. I’ll write more about that process later.
Well, there is certainly nothing wrong with obeying the Ten Commandments!
Posted by: Bart Blair | February 21, 2012 at 08:56 AM
"Honor your mother and father" is actually one of the Ten Commandments. If children obey their parents on how to take good care of their teeth, they also do very special thing by obeying one of the Ten Commandments. =)
Posted by: Diana Dickert | February 21, 2012 at 08:48 AM